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A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”
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Your entire lifestyle can likely be summed up by what you drink in the morning, according to a new study.<br/><br/>In a poll of 2,000 US adults, split between 1,000 coffee drinkers and 1,000 matcha drinkers, a number of personality and lifestyle differences — and a few surprising similarities — were observed based on their preferred a.m. beverage. <br/><br/>If you are a matcha drinker, you are more likely to wake up early (54%), prefer outdoor activities (26%), be an ambivert, or a balance of introvert and extrovert (46%), and describe yourself as “adventurous” (29%). <br/><br/>Commissioned by Califia Farms and conducted by OnePoll, the study found, by comparison, more than half of coffee drinkers prefer to sleep in later (53%), prefer indoor activities like watching movies (38%), and are more likely to be an introvert (42%).
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A widow says she has to “carry on living for her baby” after her husband was killed when she was 17 weeks pregnant. <br/><br/>Sophie Ransom, 26, felt a “wife’s intuition” when she woke up without husband Paul, 25, next to her on the morning of May 24, 2023. <br/><br/>She was later informed by police he’d been in a collision on his Suzuki motorbike and died at the scene. <br/><br/>The mum-of-one says she lived on autopilot for the next month - but when she felt her baby kicking for the first time, she had a reason to carry on. <br/><br/>Now, she says she wakes up with the intention to “smile and laugh at least once a day” - despite thinking she could never be happy again. <br/><br/>Sophie, a project manager from Bury St. Edmunds, Suffolk, said: “Life as a young widow is hard - it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and so exhausting.
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One in four adults prefer it firm in the bedroom - when it comes to mattresses, at least.<br/><br/>But a study of 2,000 adults revealed 28 per cent thought they'd prefer a firm mattress only to realise they need something softer.<br/><br/>And 23 per cent are currently sleeping on something they’re not totally happy with.<br/><br/>To show how to make the right decision, eveSleep created an updated version of the children's classic 'The Princess and the Pea'.<br/><br/>At a pop-up event, they created two stacks of mattresses - with one hiding a giant size pea underneath.<br/><br/>Consumers were put to the test to see if they were sensitive sleepers and could detect the hidden ‘pea’ while lying on a stack of mattresses.<br/><br/>Lisa Richards from the online mattress maker, which commissioned the research to launch wunderflip, its double-sided adaptive comfort range, said: “Sleep isn't just a luxury, it's a necessity for a healthy life - the right mattress is your partner in achieving that rejuvenating rest. <br/><br/>“It's about finding the perfect balance of support and comfort to ensure you wake up every morning feeling refreshed and ready to take on the world.<br/><br/>“Your mattress plays a crucial role in the quality of your sleep, affecting everything from your mood to your productivity the next day.<br/><br/>“That’s why we’re helping keen snoozers make the right choice when shopping online, giving them a choice of two different comfort ratings.”<br/><br/>The study also revealed of those who don’t like their current mattress, 43 per cent said it causes them more discomfort than it does relief.<br/><br/>And sleeping on an unsuitable mattress is most likely to lead to pain in the lower back (56 per cent) or the neck (36 per cent).<br/><br/>While 27 per cent will feel the strain across the shoulders, and 14 per cent will even report pain in their legs.<br/><br/>More than a quarter (26 per cent) even admit the quality of their mattress will ‘very much’ impact their mood on any given morning.<br/><br/>And 32 per cent admit they have trouble falling asleep regularly, according to the OnePoll.com figures.<br/><br/>The ‘Bed Battle: Team Firm vs Team Soft’ experience will take place at Gallery@Oxo in London’s Southbank from Thursday 2nd May to Sunday 5th May.<br/><br/>Lisa Richards added: \
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