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_92.webp "A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”")
_china-ban-online-gambling-in-the-philippines-124-evening-wrap.webp "Rappler")
_philippines-illegal-online-gaming-crackdown-workers-allege-torture-and-forced-labour.webp "Al Jazeera English")
_china-says-philippines-agreed-to-stay-out-of-panatag-shoal-under-duterte-admin-124-the-wrap.webp "Here are today’s headlines – the latest news in the Philippines and around the world:<br/>- Chinese embassy: Under Duterte, Philippines agreed to keep gov’t out of Panatag Shoal<br/>- Philippines falls 2 places in 2024 World Press Freedom Index<br/>- Universal Music Group artists to return to TikTok after new licensing pact<br/>- Harvey Weinstein will be retried in New York after rape conviction overturned<br/>- Patricia Evangelista wins 2024 Helen Bernstein Book Award for Excellence in Journalism<br/><br/>https://www.rappler.com/video/daily-wrap/may-3-2024/")
_investigative-documentaries-online-gambling-nakakaapekto-sa-ilang-pamilyang-pilipino.webp "GMA PublicAffairs")
_crimewatch-2014-ep5-124-sextortion.webp "Entertainment - Mediacorp")
_heat-index-in-30-areas-may-reach-danger-level-on-may-3.webp "The Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration (PAGASA) warned that 30 areas may face a “dangerous” heat index between 42 degrees Celsius (℃) and 47℃ on Friday, May 3.<br/><br/>READ: https://mb.com.ph/2024/5/3/heat-index-in-30-areas-may-reach-danger-level-on-may-3<br/><br/>Subscribe to the Manila Bulletin Online channel! - https://www.youtube.com/TheManilaBulletin<br/><br/>Visit our website at http://mb.com.ph<br/>Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/manilabulletin <br/>Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/manila_bulletin<br/>Instagram: https://instagram.com/manilabulletin<br/>Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@manilabulletin<br/><br/>#ManilaBulletinOnline<br/>#ManilaBulletin<br/>#LatestNews")
_casino-tells-jackpot-winners-machine-malfunctioned.webp "Inside Edition")
_online-gambling-sites-operating-illegally-in-australia-124-a-current-affair.webp "A Current Affair")
_2024-honda-br-v-what-sets-it-apart-from-its-competitors-124-top-gear-philippines.webp "The first-generation BR-V was a huge hit for Honda, and the current second-gen model continues that trend. In the subcompact seven-seater class, it gains an advantage over its competitors by providing not just the practicality and space prioritized by buyers in this segment, but also handsome styling, class-leading safety features thanks to Honda SENSING, and good fuel economy in the city and on the highway.<br/> <br/>Looking for your next family car? Here are five reasons you should consider the 2024 Honda BR-V. You can also learn more about it here: www.hondaphil.com<br/><br/>Paid partnership with Honda Cars Philippines<br/><br/>Dig cars?<br/>Read more about cars and motoring here: http://www.topgear.com.ph<br/>Like us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/TopGearPH<br/>Tweet us: http://www.twitter.com/TopGearPH<br/>Follow us on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/TopGearPH<br/>Join us on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@topgearph<br/><br/>#topgearph #hondabrv #Bravethenextlevel #HondaSENSING")
_secret-sex-parties-of-the-mega-rich-124-informer.webp "VICE")
_what-the-gambling-industry-doesnt-want-you-to-know-124-informer.webp "VICE")
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