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_92.webp "A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”")
_naked-baby-mov.webp "All Things Gu0026D")
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_caravans-on-delves-green-in-walsall.webp "More than 25 caravans could be seen on Delves Green in Walsall on Tuesday.<br/><br/>The owners were told by the police to leave by the evening or there would be enforcement action taken.")
_vulva-3-0-between-taboo-and-fine-tuning-aff-2014.webp "Astra Film Festival")
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⏲ 6 seconds 👁 17
_russian-defence-attach-expelled-from-britain-in-spying-storm.webp "Russia’s defence attaché will be expelled from Britain in a crackdown on foreign state interference, Home Secretary James Cleverly announced on Wednesday.He told the Commons restrictions were being put on Russian diplomats after a suspected arson attack on a Ukraine-linked business in the UK.")
_chef-momento39s-cheesy-delight-stuffed-cheery-tomatos-shorts.webp "BabyTV - Nursery Rhymes u0026 Cartoons")
_the-vw-beetle-that39s-also-an-rv.webp "PART Volkswagen, part camper - the ‘Super Bugger’ might not be your typical choice of car. But Canadian couple, Bill and Sandra, take great pride in owning this unique, rear converted camper vehicle that combines a VW Buggy and an RV into one. Back in the 1970s, a Californian company had the bright idea to convert the humble box into a piece of art – and they named it a ‘Super Bugger’ - it was later sold for $6,000. Sandra inherited the bugger after her father’s death, who bought the car back in the 80s. Speaking of her rare vehicle, Sandra told FutureStudiosCars: “She is my little girl, she is precious to me. It’s a fun vehicle to drive around!”")
_capitol-punishment-the-movie-updated-trailer.webp "Order on DVD or Stream it Now: https://givemelibertynow.org/product/capitol-punishment/<br/><br/>Told through the eyes of the people who were there on the ground, Capitol Punishment shows the world the true story of January 6, 2021.<br/><br/>Everything that we are being told is a lie and Americans are being persecuted to support that lie.<br/><br/>January 6 was years in the making and the threat to the survival of America as we know it, has never been greater.")
_following-hulu39s-39death-and-other-details39-cancellation-here39s-what-the-cast-and-eps-told-us-about-working-with-the.webp "Hulu brought a new kind of murder mystery to the 2024 TV schedule with Death and Other Details, headlined by The Princess Bride and Homeland alum Mandy Patinkin himself. Unfortunately, the show is the latest victim of the streamer's cancellation spree, so fans with Hulu subscriptions won't get to see what showrunners/executive producers Heidi Cole McAdams and Mike Weiss had in mind for Rufus and Co. in Season 2. The cancellation news is particularly sad in light of what the showrunners as well as cast told CinemaBlend about working with Patinkin as a showbiz \")
_carter-hawkins-cubs-won39t-rush-cade-horton-to-big-leagues.webp "The Cubs' goal for top pitching prospect Cade Horton at Triple-A is to work on his \")
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